Too good looking, too humble etc

I was wondering if you guys could help.

My trouble is I’m very good looking and girls always seem to fancy me wherever I go. It makes life really difficult as they are always trying to flirt with me and have sex with me in some way. My wife gets jealous and I don’t know what to do about it. I try to make myself ugly but I’m so good looking to begin with that there’s literally nothing I can do to make myself average looking.

What compounds the problem is how humble I am. People are always commenting on how I am too humble and I never say anything that makes me look good. I explain to them that I have to be humble because I’m so clever, good looking, rich, strong, altruistic etc because if I’m not humble people think I’m showing off. But I never show off, ever. It’s another weakness I guess.

What’s worse is I’ll now be getting the best VR system ever made in the PImax 5K+ and so I’ll again be better than everyone who won’t have this.

I don’t know what to do about this problem. Are there any courses available to make me less humble, less nice, less intelligent, less good looking?

Thanks in advance.


EDIT: in case anyone is wondering this is of course a joke. The truth is I’m one of the ugliest people I know. Being ironic re: how humble I am too etc. Not too funny, I know… I’m bored at work!

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Tell those girl “I am a gay and my wife don’t know about that”.

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I tried that but they say they don’t care and are even more eager to try to change my orientation.

It’s Hard To Be Humble… :wink:

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